Irony Repeats
by ServantOfFate65
Summary: It's after the war and Kyuubi thinks it's ironic...SasuNaru and past KyuubiOC. Optional Mpreg, depending on your interpretation. Some swearing, but nothing past PG13. OneShot


Warning: BoyxBoy love (Gays, **imbeciles**). Beware. Optional Mpreg.

Pairings: SasuNaru and KyuubiOC

Disclaimer: None of this mine, except the plot. If someone else has done this, you've probably done it in a SasuSomeoneOtherThanNaruto way and I don't read those. But I apologize if it's out there, but it's too late now.

Flame me and I'll have a great time typing a sarcastic reply back (if it's anonymous I'll just post it on my next story. But really, if you're going to flame me, at least have the guts to admit you did it). The changes in POV are also time skips.

* * *

(Anonymous Person)

Sweat poured down his face as the he ran through the gardens. There was a nasty bruise that was swelling up on his left ankle after stumbling and nearly twisting it on a stray tree root in the north orchids somewhere. The cuts on his cheek were attributed to the thorns in the thorn bushes, having been chased off the main path.

The bleeding on his arms and hands were from the cuts he had made necessary to the spell. Ye gods…had he known what he was getting himself into he would have never cut them so eagerly, so foolishly.

If he got out of this alive, he would never look at the ancient textbooks again. He would sacrifice to the ancient spirits three times a day. He would even resign himself to the temples and take a vow of servitude, to never leave the temple basement, to never see the light of day again…

Even perpetual darkness was better than death. Oh, how sweet life seemed. How light, carefree… If he got out of this alive- no, he would! He was the greatest of all the summoners, the greatest, the wisest, the most talented! Even the masters said so!

He wouldn't die! He couldn't. Not him. Perhaps the fool Horaston, or the lazy Angleren. Not him. Not killed by his own summoning… All he had wanted was it's power! He wouldn't even have killed it, but left it alive to bleed it off it's strength until he died of old age, a conqueror, respected and revered by all.

"Tut, tut, tut. Such a dull existence you wish to lead. Isn't there anything more you want out of life? To burn a city, revenge on a straying lover, to capture a pretty maiden? Not even to go down in history?"

The hand that gripped his neck was firm, and icy cold. Even colder than his own, frozen from fear and the chilly night air…But the eyes were not cold. Even as they looked deep into his he could see the flames roar inside them. He could even fancy he heard the crackling and hissing as they writhed their burning dance…

"No? All you wish is respect by all you meet…How boring. All the fools who dared to call upon me before had some sort of grand scale scheme in mind. Some were so brilliant I actually considered doing their bidding just to see what would happen…"

He was frozen, seeing for the first time what real power was, how small and insignificant human life was in compared to the greater powers that roamed the universe. What fools they all were, proud presumptuous fools…

"I tire of this. You do not amuse me." Pain. Pain, burning red hot. Hot like the sword he had touched as a small child in the smithy…He…was…actually…going…to… His eyes dimmed and he crumpled to the ground. Death…was…cold…

Burning eyes that held no regret looked to the pathetic heap on the ground pitilessly. "His soul isn't even worth taking." The tone was disgusted, irritated by perpetual human weakness. "Fool…you should never interfere with a trickster. How do you think our souls escaped death?"

Flames engulfed the temple in a wild frenzy, burning the giant library that the temple priests had labored hundreds of years to collect. The fire bells rang hours long after the spirit had vanished to the east…

-

(Naruto)

Naruto sat on the edge of the aisle, with Sasuke to his left, Kakashi to his left, and ended with Iruka on Kakashi's left. All were dressed neatly and sat up perfectly straight, eyes forward, and faces front. All except Naruto, who kept one eye on the speaker, and another on Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes were calm and icy cold. His face was frozen into an emotionless expression and looked wholly unaffected. Until you noticed that he was sitting up rigidly straight, his hands clutched on the edges of his shirt, and he was trembling slightly.

Very slightly, but enough for someone trained to catch these things if they were watching. Naruto knew that behind the freaking glacier was a wildly erupting volcano. He could tell because he was spewing lava and burning rock too, under the mournful expression. Personally, he thought bringing Sasuke here was a stupid idea and he should have been left in his house to sulk.

But of course, he was against the whole concept of a funeral in itself. I mean, all those assembled here secretly or openly hated his guts. How is it possible to mourn for a person you've been trying to kill for years? But Tsunade and Jiraiya (up in the first row) actually seemed truly…sad. Perhaps he wasn't looking at this right.

Perhaps there used to be a heart inside that black hole inside of Orochimaru's chest. But at the same time, he really, really doubted it. No person who had known a heart, had known happiness, could have ever have done what he had. Or at least Naruto really hoped not.

He pulled slightly at his collar. This suit was so itchy! It was like sticking an elephant into a rat skin. If he had to keep this on longer he might just choke, and get strangled by the undersized suit-of-hell. Considering they were in the very back row and everyone was keeping their eyes very sternly ahead, chances were they would have to book another funeral.

A voice in the back of his head wondered if anyone would bother to attend. He firmly squashed it and snapped to attention as the droning voice of the speaker coughed hoarsely before continuing. Damn it, how much could you say about an evil dead guy!

The speaker adjusted his glasses and stared at the script with his eyebrow raised before continuing, launching into a speech about how it was truly a shame that one of 'our own' should turn to such evil, regrettable, ways. Naruto winced even before he felt Sasuke stiffen, drawing himself up.

He sneaked a look with both eyes at the silently snarling Sasuke beside him and saw his face darken like a thundercloud. Red (only the tiniest tint) began sneaking into black eyes and swirled slowly. Naruto definitely felt that Sasuke should have stayed home.

And of course, everyone else was still staring dead ahead and was deep in thought, paying no attention to Sasuke, who looked like he was beyond planning murder and was about to stick a knife down your throat. Even the speaker was oblivious, looking at his paper, not even glancing up once.

Wasn't that poor presentation skills? Resigning himself to a week of evil glares, sulky silences, and intense 'training' (more like beat-up-Naruto-sessions) he cautiously tapped Sasuke on the shoulder before immediately retracting his hand (wanting to keep it for the remainder of his life).

Silent, raging fury turned it's full attention on him. Naruto fought to stop from gulping nervously from the murderous intent radiating from Orochimaru's former apprentice. Narrowed eyes asked the silent question. _What?_

Naruto grinned a trickster grin and made soothing motions with his hands and held up five fingers, and nodded toward the exit. **Hey! Calm down for 5 more minutes and we'll get out of here.**

A silent hiss and an inappropriate gesture met his diplomatic assurance. _And why the hell should I care about doing what you say?_ Naruto inwardly sighed, a chibi him bashing a little box that was labeled 'Sasuke's pride.'

Raised eyebrows said calmly, **Because I'm in charge of you until Tsunade decides you're not beyond forgiveness. **Sasuke looked like he was going to stuff his butcher's knife down Naruto's throat. _Fine._

Sasuke turned stiffly around, both black eyes on the speaker, who was now shuffling through his papers, apparently having lost the 20th page. How very tragic. Guess they were going to have to miss learning about Orochimaru's first Genin year…

Exactly five minutes later, Sasuke stood up and headed toward the exit without looking back. Wincing at how loud he slammed the doors (no one else but Naruto noticed) Naruto looked over at Tsunade in the first row, to see her looking him straight in the eye.

She nodded toward the exit and grinned with both thumbs up. The funeral and terrible speaker had all been a test to see whether Sasuke was uncontrollable or not…Naruto supposed he was slightly impressed as he walked to the exit (gingerly closing the doors).

He would have appreciated it more it if hadn't had to listen to three hours of complete dribble as well. He pitied the rest of the ninja teams who didn't have a charge to look after. They still had five hours to go…

-

(Sasuke)

Sasuke was seeing red. Not sharingan red (though he supposed that might have something to do with it) but bloody rage red. How dare they hold a funeral for that…that…**thing**! All that body deserved was to be chopped into little pieces and fed to wild animals!

But no, they hold a **bloody funeral** for that **murderer! **Because he was a 'Legendary Sannin', they said. A 'Fallen Figure', they said. Bah! Like that…he…**it** ever had a heart! Yeah right! And they hold it **a bloody funeral!**

"Smash!" went his mother's second favorite jade vase against the wall. "Crash!" went his aunt's old rocking chair. **What was wrong with everybody! Was he the only slightly sane one!**

He took a deep breath and set down a china bird back on the mantelpiece. And of course **_Naruto_** was upstairs, in one of the guest bedrooms that he had claimed as his own, probably writing a report on how Sasuke was being a good little boy and smashing breakable family heirlooms instead of members of the 'common-as-dirt' human population.

He resolved to give Naruto several broken bones at training tomorrow and claim the dead spirit of Orochimaru requested it as a death wish. That is, if he was going to talk to Naruto tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that.

The ninjas of the leaf had a funny way of rewarding returning traitors. He gave up glaring at the fern plant in the corner of the room (one of the oldest) and stomped off, pointedly ignoring that this mess was all his fault anyway.

_You'd think that bringing back Orochimaru's head would count for something. _Sasuke stalked off to his bedroom, gritting his teeth. The sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he could wake up, which was the sooner Naruto would taste the dirt. Childishly, he kicked Naruto's wall from the hallway. _How dare they make a fool of me…_

-

(Spirit)

_Boredom._ Silence was overpowering, and every little rustle of movement was smothered. _Lonely_. The small grove of trees was bare, having been stripped of leaves by the winter's icy touch. The pond was frozen over, the current swishing under layers of thick ice.

The place was deserted, rumored to be cursed by the nearby villages and was avoided after an entire family had been wiped out after the youngest girl had carted home firewood from the outskirts of the birch trees. Their heads were cut off and couldn't be found. _They never discovered the killer._

_Cold_…the fires of soul never went out but the air was chilly and wore down, even when it could not cause death or frostbite. Even the animals were few and in-between. They were welcomed to the grove, but the winter had been hard, and most resorted to stealing from the soft hearted, nature-loving villagers.

Red eyes narrowed in disgust. Drip, drip, drip. The snow melted on the stalactites further in the cave and the sound was the loudest thing in ear shot. A hiss of irritation and the body stretched. _If fun was not going to come here_…a smirk formed on the face and teeth twisted into a cunning smile. _Fun would have to be made there, wouldn't it_?

-

(Naruto)

Naruto fell onto the bed with a groan. Sasuke had been as bad as expected…which was very bad indeed. The only reason the hospital let him out so soon after the healing jutsu was because he had shown them the scroll of instructions Tsunade had given him.

Sasuke had sat on a hospital bench in the waiting room the entire procedure, smugly reading a book on how wind currents could be used to your advantage. Naruto had seriously considered burning the book, even knowing Sasuke would just burn some of Naruto's plants in retaliation. Life wasn't fair…

With a hiss of effort, Naruto rolled to the side and pulled out the 'Scroll of Rules.' He poked it, and snapped his hand back with a growl. For some reason, Tsunade had forbidden him from reading the rules (Sasuke too).

If he even touched it with the intention of opening it, it would burn him. Of course, it wouldn't leave a mark on either him or Sasuke they found (after a fun little…experiment).

Why? If Tsunade could just make them read the rules, why put that jutsu on it? Instead, she had spent time on going over everything they could and could not do. Tsunade was not one to put in extra effort.

Why bother putting all that effort into a scroll? All it was good for was giving it to medic ninjas and so forth to bend the rules. Was there something she wasn't telling him? Them? This was confusing…

He buried his face into the covers. He could worry about it later. For now, sleep was calling his name, and boy did sleep sound good. He closed his eyes and drifted off to dreamland without even bothering to change into pajamas.

-

(Spirit)

_Burning._ Fire devoured all that stood in it's path and more and more besides. Smoke filled the air in hues of black, white, and gray. _Death_. Humans ran screaming in a panic round the town as some fell victim to the burning and others to the gray wisps of smoke that polluted to the air.

_Fear_. People of all ages fell pounding against the gate that was the only entrance and exit to the city. The rest was surrounded by a stone wall, old but solid. _Hopelessness_. The gate would not open. That had been taken care of.

_Trapped._ They were doomed. Like little mice in a burning maze. There would be no survivors. Red eyes narrowed at their mistake. Not true. They turned to see the thirty or so humans that were pure of all the blood of the city. Slaves or travelers, the lot of them. Their blood scent was slightly less…dirty than the rest.

They would live. They would be safe from everything but each other, and if they decided to attack, well, it was just another free show. Right now however, they looked too terrified to do anything but cower in fear against the ground on top of the mountain. Oh well. They could serve another purpose.

A woman screamed particularly loud and again the trickster watched with glee. By morning, all that would remain of the town was ashes. And of course, these slaves would be here when the neighboring towns decided to check things out.

And of course, slaves were not treated very nicely. Not nicely at all, according to rumors. As for the four travelers, well, they were rich. Why not stir up trouble? Yes, they would all fit the bills nicely. The next town's execution methods would have to be investigated. A grin. Yes, they must be personally investigated.

"Up to trouble, are you?" The voice was cold. What? The spirit turned to face the intruder. No one should intrude upon such a fun time. Red eyes widened. What? This…being had black eyes…

-

(Sasuke)

Sasuke sat sulkily in front of Tsunade's offices in an uncomfortable gray chair. He fidgeted, but the chair back was hard and he couldn't do anything but sit as straight as possible without slouching.

His eyes shifted to the door. What was taking that moron for so long? How long could it take to say, 'Yah, he hasn't killed anyone yet or run away and punched a hole a through my chest. Will you buy me ramen?' He snorted.

That was it. He stood up and walked over to the door in purposeful stride. Because of Tsunade's stupid requirements, he couldn't so much as train by himself. And the idiot was probably whining about being stuck with such a jerk.

A pang struck his chest, and he frowned, pausing in front of the door. So what if the loser hated him? He had chosen to give it up when he had left for Sound. He had known that their relationship would never be the same.

But how much did the idiot hate him? He frowned. Just to make sure that Naruto wouldn't become an enemy. As much as he wanted to deny it, his former rival would be a dangerous enemy.

Quickly and quietly he made the hand signals for one of the jutsus that Orochimaru ha taught him. It was a complicated hearing jutsu that would increase one's hearing potential as well as breaking all silence barriers in the jutsu's hearing range.

"-It's not safe! The moment anyone sees him alone they'll want revenge. Do you think that the villagers would forget about their dead in the war? Trust me; they're good at holding grudges."

Sasuke blinked. Of course Naruto would know about grudges, Orochimaru had gleefully told him all about his friend's 'guest'. It did explain all the hatred the villagers had for Naruto over the years. Sasuke had just thought as a little boy that it was his hair dye prank on the elder citizens of Kohana.

It really didn't make that much of a difference to Sasuke; it just made him punch Naruto harder during training. Naruto could heal it faster than he would be able to, at any rate.

"And what do you suggest we do, brat? Your charge has a dislike for being caged; he'll encounter the rest of the village sooner or later. It doesn't matter how hard you try to protect him. He'll probably punch you for it when he founds out about it anyway."

Naruto was trying…to protect him? From the villagers? Why? It wasn't like what they thought mattered to Sasuke. The only thing he truly understood was that Tsunade had a point. He was going to punch Naruto very hard. If only because Naruto was an idiot.

What were the villagers going to do? Attack him? Hah.

"They might try to plan an attack." Naruto's tone turned bitter. "Everyone's heard about how the Kyuubi child is the one monitoring the Traitor. And goodness knows no good can come of that. In fact, that fox will probably end up turning the Traitor into someone even worse than Orochimaru."

Sasuke was surprised. He had no clue the villagers had it in them. Anger piled in his gut suddenly. 'How dare they accuse me of becoming a second Orochimaru! What? Naruto, drive me away? I supposed he chased me for years just to kick me out again.'

"Don't worry so much old hag. I'll let Sasuke off the leash slowly. I trust him, however much of an idiot that makes me." Sasuke nearly gasped (if such a thing was not stupid and emotional).

Naruto…trusted him? Why? Sure, he wasn't planning on becoming an Orochimaru Jr., but come on! Sasuke had punched a hole through him chest! And that was just a beginning of the long list of injuries during those yearly chases.

Sasuke didn't even want to think about the injuries he had given Naruto this year during training. Slowly he ended the jutsu and went back to lean against the opposite wall. He had a lot of things to think about… and most were about a short blond idiot with blue eyes.

-

(Naruto)

Naruto was getting worried. For the last few weeks Sasuke had been acting…weird. Like, really weird. He was staring into space, was easily distracted, and had a weird habit of staring at Naruto with an odd look on his face.

For the first week, the look was one of confusion. If he waited a while before snapping the Uchiha out of it with a punch or loud comment he could see him mouthing the words, "What?" "Why?" and "How?" Naruto was mystified, but figured that Sasuke would stop looking at him like he was the world's hardest jigsaw puzzle eventually.

In a way, he was right. He hated when that happened. In week two, Sasuke stopped staring at him with puzzlement and stared with slightly more concealed amazement. Almost like Naruto had done something really stupid, but amazing at the same time.

Week three, Sasuke was staring at him with frustration. Training was not fun that week, but he and the nurses were now on speaking terms. They viewed him more with pity than with hatred now that he visited them once per day.

On week four Sasuke was staring at him with… (dare he say it) a blush on his face. It was very faint, but all too recognizable against the white skin. Naruto couldn't help but stare; he only regretted he didn't have a camera. Sasuke had been doing all the week four symptoms for the past couple weeks.

Since then, every time he saw Sasuke, he got a fluttery feeling in his stomach and he felt even more clumsy than usual. The same things he had done with his crush on Sakura. But surely that was impossible- he had dealt with his admiration of both sexes already but this was too much.

And besides, Sasuke had no interest in him. The blush was probably- oh hell, enough was enough. He had had enough unresolved angst in his life already. This was going to be settled once and for all.

-

(Spirit)

The trickster roused slowly, before looking up at the other still sleeping occupant on the bed with unmasked horror. This was not expected, not part of the plan. Slowly the demon got up to stretch -before pausing in terror.

Stirrings inside. The formation was beginning- the formation for life. Kits. Not good. Not good at all but who- A chuckle sounded as the other woke to the shocked face. The black eyed man grinned at the frozen demon on the bed.

"I'm human all right, before you ask." The voice was amused, as eyes devoured the sight. "Do you have any other questions?" The tone aroused anger, the insolence of the human for…for…

"Why?" it came out in a fierce sounding hiss. It betrayed none of the terror that ran around wildly inside it's mind. How could…one human…win so easily…so damn easily against…

"Why?" He grinned and leaned forward as a hand snaked forward to grab the demon's chin. "Because of your eyes." He leered. "Since I impregnated you, my children will be human, but the demon blood will activate in their eyes. My descendants will be a great clan with advanced bloodlines to match even the Hyuuga clan."

Bubbling fury awoke inside the trickster's blood. "You…you…" The man only laughed in the face of the unformed threats and pushed down the protesting one on the bed.

"My name is Kanaye Uchiha by the way," he said smirking. "And by demon instinct you can't go anywhere until my children are born. And I proved last night that thanks to my training, I'm obviously strong enough to defend myself."

With a triumphant smirk he raised the demon's lips to his own…

-

(Naruto)

Naruto couldn't think. All he had done was ask Sasuke about what was going on and to get this mess all straightened out when Sasuke had just turned to him with the oddest of expressions on his face before reaching out and kissing him.

As he kissed back, confused and angry, but hungry, he squashed the little voice in the back of his head that yelled, "No, no! This is wrong! Wait until later!" Naruto wrapped arms around Sasuke's neck.

This could always be resolved in the morning…and Sasuke seemed to have the same idea. His last clear thought was asking why on earth Kyuubi was laughing so loud that Naruto could hear it echoing inside his head as Sasuke pushed him onto the bed…

* * *

Oh my god, I wrote all of this in one day. Man that's creepy. Yes, this was very confusing. I know, I wrote it. **Here's the explanation for Naruto and Sasuke:**

Okay, first they're at Orochimaru's funeral which Tsunade made Sasuke attend. They made it extra long, so it would be guaranteed that Sasuke would be about to blow a fuse. Sasuke didn't though, and left with Naruto without burning the place down so he passed the test, proving he could be trusted to rein in his temper.

Sasuke is than at then at home, breaking things because he is upset about having to go at the funeral at the first place. Naruto is in charge of Sasuke until Tsunade deems him a respectable citizen. Sasuke is pretty upset with blondie boy.

Then, Naruto is back from the hospital, which he went to because Sasuke beat him up in training the day after we last had his POV. The scroll is really just something for you to chew on, but basically it just said that they were to treat both Naruto and Sasuke with respect and to make sure they weren't separated. Tsunade was trying to give a puzzle to Naruto to keep his thoughts from Sasuke too much.

Then, it's Sasuke that is listening in on Naruto and Tsunade's conversation, and he learns that Naruto doesn't hate his guts, which leads him to deep thinking about his relationship with Naruto.

Then, Naruto watches Sasuke, who first is puzzled by the fact Naruto doesn't hate him. Then he goes through my stages of denial for him; confusion, amazement, anger, and then acceptance of his own feelings.

Then at the last scene, Sasuke kisses Naruto as Naruto confronts him and things get hot and I quit writing.

**As for Kyuubi's part of the story (the spirit):**

At first we're a guy who tried to summon Kyuubi to use it's power, but fails and Kyuubi kills him after a speech about how pathetic he is. In my explanation of fox demon kind, they're foxes who trick death itself and so become demons.

Then Kyuubi's bored at home in a grove in a cave, and leaves to go find some fun (killing).

Now he finds fun and burns a town when a 'black eyed stranger' pops up and greets him.

Now it can be an Mpreg or not, depending on whether you think Kyuubi is a he, she, or it. Basically, it/she/he is impregnated after Kanaye rapes i/s/h. This is my version of how the Uchiha clan came to be: Kyuubi had the babies, Kanaye raised them and they carried the sharingan. This is a loooong time ago. **This is all flashbacks.**

Kanaye means 'zealous one.'

So, now that Sasuke and Naruto are going to be a couple, Kyuubi's laughing at the irony of it all (aren't I sweet). I'm thinking about making a sequel, but it won't need a page long explanation. Reviews are accepted with hugs and a Kyuubi plushie! (puppy dog eyes).


End file.
